Living from our Cassandra Wound
How many of us are afraid to trust - or speak - what we know?
We seem to hear a lot nowadays about the collective “wounds” that hold us back – especially as women.
From the “Witch Wound” said to make us afraid to be “weird” or stand out from the crowd and the “Priestess Wound” that convinces us we can’t be trusted with money or power, to the “Sisterhood Wound” that has us jostling against and comparing ourselves to other women and the “Good Girl Wound” that keeps us playing small and well behaved in a world that will punish us for doing anything that goes against the rules of being a woman.
Honestly? In the past few years I’ve gotten more than a little tired of hearing about our wounds and come to the conclusion those wounds are all for someone else to talk about.
Or I had. Then recently, as I began to share my experiences with the Primal Mothers over on the paid section of this site, something else burst open within me. Something that felt more than a little like a wound.
And the more I spoke to the closest women around me, the more they agreed that they felt it too.
The Cassandra wound
In case you’re not familiar with her, Cassandra is a priestess, princess and prophetess from Ancient Greek mythology.
There are varying accounts of how she and her twin brother, Helenus, came by the gift of prophecy, but the story tells us that when it came to seeing and knowing the future, Cassandra was incredible at it.
Until one day, she caught the eye of Apollo, who decided he wanted to take Cassandra as his own. Initially she entertained the idea – Apollo was a god after all. But quickly she realised that Apollo was a bit of a disappointment, and so turned him down.
Rather than take the time for some self reflection or accept the rejection with grace, Apollo was furious (eye roll) and swore to take his revenge on Cassandra. A revenge he enacted by cursing her never to be believed.
Cassandra could still see the future and know exactly what would come to pass. Hell, she could still warn any and everyone around her about what she saw. She’d just never be believed. (For the record her brother would absolutely be believed, despite the fact he was a terrible prophet who never accurately saw the future. But don’t let me get started on that rant!)
The story is over 3,000 years old and yet, while I don’t know about you, for me it feels as though it could have been written yesterday.
The modern curse of Cassandra
How many of us have been afraid to share what we believe, or even what we know for sure, for fear of being dismissed?
More, how many of us have worked up the courage to share our knowings only to find that dismissal was nowhere near the worst respond. Instead to find ourselves being mocked, punished or ostracised for what we had to say?
Of course that’s not only something that happens to women. But as countless stories of medical gaslighting, mansplaining, and “hysterical women” prove, it’s definitely something those who identify as women have more than a little experience of.
And when it comes to our intuitive knowings – especially in a world where science has come to feel more than a little dogmatic – we can crank that experience up even further.
Even just thinking of my own experiences, I’ve lost track of the times my intuition and instincts have been laughed off or criticised, only to turn out to be true further down the line:
Of the time I told a friend I had a bad feeling about her new boyfriend, only for her to shout me down as being jealous. Fast forward two years and I learned the boyfriend had a hefty drug problem and, lo and behold, my former friend was now on the same path.
Or the time I shared my concern with a senior leader at work about a colleague, and explained that I could see his behaviour leading down a dangerous path. The leader laughed and rolled his eyes, but a few years later our colleague was in court on a rape charge.
And though they’re less dramatic, perhaps the worst examples are the ones where the only person to hear my warning signs was myself, but even I didn’t believe them. And so I took the job that I could already see would go terribly; continued with the dates that felt uncomfortable; and took the road home only to get stuck in a long delay.
But then I think that’s the worst part of the Cassandra wound; the way that years – perhaps centuries – of being ignored, doubted and mocked for our intuition has led us to a place where we even mistrust ourselves.
The fact we study, learn and work our butts off to build a firm foundation to what we know, only to still pitch ourselves as amateurs when it comes to sharing the kind of insights that nothing but deep wisdom and knowledge can bring (I say this as someone who has written two books, spent almost two decades actively learning, and completed an MSc in all things spiritual yet still heard herself say, not too long ago, “but don’t quote me, I’m no expert on this.”)
The way that we flock to the books about wise and magical women, and flock to the stories of prophecy and prescience; all the while having had those same gifts silenced within ourselves. Gaslit until we came to believe such things could only ever exist in fiction.
Reclaiming our inner Oracle
So how do we tend and heal this Cassandra wound in a world that so desperately needs our voices, our wisdom and our expertise?
For me it starts with two things:
Recognising the times our Cassandra wounds are at play,
And learning to listen to – and share from - our wisdom and intuition once again.
For me, the first of those has strangely been the most difficult. Because after so many years of doubting myself, that has almost become second nature. And so it’s taken – who a I kidding, it’s still taking – a while to get used to questioning every internal eye roll I give myself, every time I shut myself down or say something along the lines of “let’s be logical”.
It’s involved treating my everyday life in much the same way as I have the content of my readings for almost twenty years: Accepting and acknowledging that just because something doesn’t make sense to me and my brain in that very moment, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
The second point is perhaps easier because it’s more practical. It involves keeping a journal of the signs, messages and intuitive nudges I receive (and sharing some on social media through weekly Spiritstack posts); and practicing voicing the things I see, hear and feel, even if that’s sometimes just to one close and trusted friend.
And often, honestly, it involves pressing “publish” or “send” and then throwing my phone/ laptop into another room and leaving it there until my anxiety settles. Will that stop people disagreeing or disbelieving me? No, but then maybe I don’t need the whole world to believe me, just as long as I trust in myself.
The world needs us to believe ourselves
I know, it’s easy to think that the world doesn’t need to hear the wisdom and prophecies that you have to share. Hell, we all know there are more than a few people out there who firmly believe that the wisdom of women is what will end the world.
And in a sense they’re right, because it will end the world as they know it. The world that so many of us have already suffered within for far too long.
Imagine, for just a moment, a world in which our intuitive knowings are truly cultivated so we can return to a sense of deep trust in them and everything they have to share.
More than that, imagine a world in which we can believe in ourselves and all of the wisdom we have to share. What would change if we trusted ourselves – and one another – in all of our intuitive wisdom?
Close your eyes for just a moment and imagine the life you would live if you were led not by fear nor the tender heart that is trying desperately to avoid such a feeling; not by the structures of practicality imposed upon us by a very limited group of individuals, nor the rationality shaped by those structures. But by the wise and timeless knowing that has collated all that you’ve consciously learned and so, so much more beside.
Maybe that feels a bit scary. But I dare bet it also feels beautiful – like a great big exhale if your sensation of it is anything like mine.
Now take your imagining one step further and imagine a whole world led by that collective knowing. Beautiful enough for each of us to try right? Beautiful enough for each of us to dare to tend the wound and trust what we see.
As always thank you so much for being here and for being you.
Love,
Ceryn xx
P.S. A few things you might want to know:
It’s less than five months until Project Earthwork arrives in Glastonbury, UK for our weekend-long Grail Gates of Gaia workhop, including a private morning in the beautiful Chalice Well Gardens. Will you be with us?
Speaking of Project Earthwork, did you watch our Imbolc transmission last month? It was wild in the best way!
Have you read my latest two posts on the Primal Mothers and what they have to share with us? They’re being held in the paid section of this site but, for a short time only you can enjoy two weeks free. So go go go to check out the posts here and here!
I’m SO excited to share that the audiobook of the Divine Feminist will - finally - be headed your way in March! The final details are still being worked out but watch this space, I can’t wait to share this book in an all new way with you.
Ceryn, this was really helpful. Thank you so much for sharing!